Is Your Teen’s Mobile Phone Addiction Distracting Her From Personal Development?

Jun 06, 2017

Focus. It can be hard enough at the best of times to get the teens in your life to look up from their phones and concentrate on the world around them. But when you need them to prepare for an important event, it can feel like an almost insurmountable challenge. We have been looking at the best way to support the young women in your life to focus and prepare for important goals, such as exams, while remaining understanding of the role that smart devices play in their lives. It really is possible to balance the two.

Mobile Phone Addiction

Teen mobile phone addiction is a very real concern. Teens more than most other demographics reach for their smart devices at any time - when they are feeling bored, restless, angry or lonely. They frequently seem to prefer spending time with their virtual connections rather than enjoying some real family time. Ask yourself the following questions.

Do you notice that she often seems restless or anxious if there is no phone reception?
Does she put pressure on you to upgrade her device to the latest model?
Does she complain of tension in her neck or sleepless nights?
Does she experience ‘phantom pocket vibrations’?
Does she keep her phone in her hand?
Does she keep her phone switched on at night?

These are all markers of phone addiction. If you feel that your teen is addicted to her phone, you are not alone. According to a report by Common Sense Media, 59% of parents believe that their teens are addicted to their mobile devices.

"Mobile devices are fundamentally changing how families go about day-to-day lives, be it doing homework, driving, or having dinner together," said James Steyer, founder and CEO of Common Sense. "What we've discovered is that kids and parents feel addicted to their mobile devices, that it is causing daily conflict in homes, and that families are concerned about the consequences. We also know that problematic media use can negatively affect children's development and that multitasking can harm learning and performance. As a society, we all have a responsibility to take media use and addiction seriously and make sure parents have the information to help them make smart choices for their families.”

Most people check their phones frequently, but what we need to ensure, is that that personal development does not suffer as a result.

Dealing With Phone Separation Anxiety

Success in life depends on the ability to focus attention on whichever task happens to be at hand. Having the internet at our fingertips certainly doesn’t help the human tendency towards procrastination. This is especially true for teens, who often have an intense fear of missing out (FOMO). Social media never sleeps, and this can make it hard for young women to switch off from their devices for extended periods, in case they are left out of something that is happening in their social circles. The need for constant connection can be extreme. Mobile phones have become a shield against interaction with real humans, creating a kind of social-phobia for many young people.

So, what is the best way to manage the use of mobile devices in order to reduce anxiety, while removing the distractions, and allowing attention to be focused on study or other personal development? Why not encourage the use of the mobile phones as a tool for focus, rather than let it take control. There are so many useful applications that can be utilised, such as the diary, calendars and even reminders to take a moment to breathe, to simply ‘be’.

Suddenly taking mobile devices away altogether for extended periods of time during study can create extra stress, so it can be more effective to set clear boundaries so that your daughter knows what to expect. Here is what we recommend:

Consider setting a financial or data limit on phone usage
Have a home schedule, with smart-device-free timeslots and zones
Have a zero-tolerance rule for phones at meal times
Monitor her activity
Set a good example - Your teens will do what they see you doing, not what you tell them to do. Therefore, consider who you need to be.

This last point is the most important. If you spend all of your free time with your phone in your hand, failing to listen to your teen when she speaks, then you can’t expect her to behave any differently with you. If you want to teach the young woman in your life to have respect for others and focus attention on the world outside of her phone, then you must demonstrate this yourself.

Event Preparation

It is understandable that you don’t want to ‘take the phone away’, it can feel like a punishment to your teen. If you are already experiencing challenges, you won’t want the backlash. However, it is possible to create a balance. You can then boost the efficiency of predetermined no-phone zones to focus on other areas. We are calling this event preparation, because it works for many things, including exams, sports, family activities and more. We like to follow the example of athletes and business professionals in their preparation. Consider this.

How To Prepare Like A Pro

Last minute cramming doesn’t work. Preparation is key. Reverse engineer your studies by planning a timetable, which takes account of the weak spots that you identified. What outcome are you looking for?
Prepare your tools - What are your tools to get the job done? Make sure that you have everything you need, plus enough light, a comfortable space, water and healthy snacks if necessary.
Do what works for you - do you need silence to work best, or background noise? Are you more productive in the morning or mid-afternoon. Set yourself up for success, by working in the way that suits your style.
Partner with your brain - Do you learn best with visual aids, lists, mind maps or video? Maybe it is more effective for you to prepare in groups. Don’t make things more difficult, be on the same team as your brain!
Plan for game day! Make sure to have your game day plan in place. Start the day with a nutritious meal, include some meditation or visualisation if that works for you. Give enough time for your journey and keep calm.

Conclusion

Challenges that parents face today are unlike any that we have seen before. Smart devices are here to stay, and we have to plan how to work with them to give our teens the best possible opportunity to succeed. It is possible to balance the role that these phones play in our family homes, and by being the example we can enable our teens to carve out time for self-development and event preparation.